


Exploration

by Apocalypse_the_Abysswalker



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Emotional, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Rare Pairings, Rimming, Shotacon, Size Difference, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:40:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apocalypse_the_Abysswalker/pseuds/Apocalypse_the_Abysswalker
Summary: While traveling together to defeat the Chimera Ants, Gon and Kite discover that they want more from each other than just an innocent friendship.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Kaito | Kite
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Read tags please! This contains explicit sexual content with an underage character.

Kite‘s chest suddenly feels tight, like there’s an icy hand gripping his heart.

„Are you okay Kite?“ says Gon playfully.

„Yeah, of course,“ he hears himself responding, faking a smile, continuing to walk further, closer to their destination with every step.

But he’s _anything but_ okay, staring at the innocent boy that is his traveling companion.

He admires the boy, thinks he’s strong and mature for his age.

And he was very sure that the admiration was innocent and perfectly normal until it morphed into something else.

He doesn’t know how it happened.

Suddenly his eyes started gliding down Gon’s body in a creepy, disturbing manner.

Devouring every inch of the perfect, exposed skin. The shorts the boy wears are way too short for his age, way too revealing.

It tortures Kite, plagues his mind with want and desire he hasn’t felt for _years._

_He’s too young for you_ , says the voice in the back of his head and he knows it‘s true and that he must find a way to stop these thoughts.

„Kite? Kite?“

He must have spaced out, staring at the distance, not noticing the sweet innocent boy approaching him.

His mouth is suddenly dry and he has trouble breathing.

„What is it Gon?“

Gon stares at him with those huge, hazel eyes.

„Are you sure you are okay Kite? You seem a bit off today. Can I help you?“

And for a second Kite fantasies about the ways that Gon could _help him_.

He imagines Gon pushing him down and straddling his lap and whispering into his ear, „ _Let me help you, Kite_ ,“ voice husky and seductive.

He laughs nervously and forces the thoughts away. _Later. I’m going to think about that later._

„There’s nothing wrong, I’m fine, but thanks for the concern Gon,“ he says and curses his voice betraying him and cracking.

„Hmmm,“ says Gon. „It’s about time to set camp anyway. Let’s find a good spot!“ he says with such youthful enthusiasm that it reminds Kite of his own age. _Which is about twice Gon's age_.

„Good idea,“ he says absent-mindedly.

Killua who was also traveling with them stared at him with suspicion in his eyes.

He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t need to. It was obvious that he noticed that something was going on in Kite’s mind.

Kite pretended to not notice the stare and helped with looking for a place to set camp.

He can’t sleep.

Thankfully, he has his own tent, separated from the boys.

He honestly doesn’t know what he might do if he had Gon within arm’s reach, sleeping, helpless, vulnerable.

At least he can take care of himself in his privacy, and release some of the tension that is built up inside him.

In his pants he’s rock hard, so he unzips them and frees his erection.

He’s sure that the boys are asleep, but he needs to be silent, he’d probably die from embarrassment if they heard him.

Biting his lip, he wraps his fingers around his throbbing length. His eyes roll back and he makes a quiet, strangled sound. It has been too long since he felt this kind of pleasure, and even longer since it was with someone more than just himself.

He’s already close in a few strokes, the amount of time since he last did it left him sensitive and aching for completion.

He distantly wonders if the amount of time since anyone touched him is the reason he began longing for Gon who is so kind and sweet.

He might have gone crazy from the touch starvation.

„ _Nghh, Gon_ ,“ he moans. It’s almost inaudible, but he couldn’t hold it back completely.

He thinks about the perfect lithe body, so small and so strong.

He moans a bit louder when he reaches his peak, biting his lip until it bleeds, painting his chest white with his release.

It hits him like a truck, and he’s coming so hard that it blinds him for a few moments.

He needs a few minutes to recover, and then he cleans himself and instantly regrets what he did.

But he falls asleep easily after that, happy and satisfied.

„K… Kite,“ Gon moans in his tent, careful to not wake up Killua. He heard Kite’s moans and for some reason, it turned him on so much that he began touching himself.

He’s inexperienced, unsure how to do it correctly. He only did it a few times, and mostly out of curiosity more than for pleasure.

But hearing Kite moan his name stirred something inside him, awoken all-consuming desire.

„Ah, _Kite,“_ he moans and bites his lip to silence himself. He saw Killua stir next to him, but thankfully he didn’t seem to wake up.

His fingers are sweaty around his small erection, clumsily moving up and down, making him shiver in pleasure but it’s not _enough,_ it’s nowhere near enough.

He wants Kite’s strong arms around him, his frail thin frame above him. Wants, _needs_ to be touched.

He’s frustrated because his hand isn’t enough to satisfy him. No matter how hard he tries, he can’t bring himself to completion. He never could, and he only heard about blinding, overwhelming pleasure from stories, never quite reaching that peak himself.

He wonders if Kite could help him with that. He has to have some _experience,_ and Gon hopes he would be willing to teach him a few things.

He gives up, his hardness slowly receding, and lays on his back, frustrated, unable to sleep.

Morning finds Kite fresh and rested, and Gon miserable and tired. He barely slept at all.

Both Killua and Kite look at him with suspicion, because Gon is always cheerful and full of energy so it makes them worry.

„Are you okay Gon?“ asks Kite during breakfast.

„Yeah…“ he sighs and stares at him with eyes surrounded by black circles.

„You don’t look okay, do you need more rest?“

„No,“ says Gon quietly.

„Can I help you with anything? Did you have a nightmare or something?“ asks Killua.

„I don’t need _your_ help,“ Gon says to Killua and stares at Kite.

Kite chokes on his drink, praying that he misunderstood the lustful look in those hazel eyes.

„Ha? What did you say?“ asks Killua and storms off angrily. „I’m not good for you anymore? Fine, I might as well leave,“ he shouts from the distance, running away.

Killua was always like that, a bit needy, wanting Gon only for himself, to the point where it was a bit suffocating.

The two of them are left alone, both feeling awkward.

„You needed my help with something?“ asks Kite to break that awkward silence.

Gon _blushes_ and it’s the cutest thing Kite ever saw.

„I, I… Ummm,“ starts Gon, unsure how to voice his thoughts.

„Close your eyes,“ he says after a moment of contemplation.

Kite doesn’t know what to expect, but he trusts Gon, so he obeys.

Nothing happens for what feels like minutes, but he waits patiently.

And then suddenly, there’s a soft sensation of lips pressing against his lips.

It takes him a few moments to process what’s happening, and he makes a soft sound before breaking the kiss.

_„Gon,_ what are you going?“ he asks in shock.

It’s not like he didn’t enjoy it, but he can’t believe the boy would _want_ something like that.

He’s concerned for him. What if he only did it because he thought Kite wanted it, without actually wanting it himself?

„What does it look like I’m doing?“ Gon asks.

„That’s not what I’m asking, I mean, why, Gon?“ Kite asks.

_„I_ _want you_ ,“ Gon almost _moans_ before leaning back to kiss Kite again. He’s unable to resist, unable to move.

He should stop it. He knows that.

But it’s been so _long_ since he felt so _good._

Gon moans into the kiss and everything about it feels so _right_ that Kite forgets how _wrong_ it is.

They deepen the kiss, and Gon straddles Kite’s lap, just like Kite fantasized about.

It’s just as perfect as he imagined it to be.

„I heard you last night,“ admits Gon.

Kite freezes, wide-eyed.

„Don’t worry, _I liked it_ ,“ explains Gon.

„I want you to teach me how can I feel so good, _please Kite, I want it_ ,“ he rambles, getting lost in the foreign sensations.

He can feel Kite getting hard under him, so _huge,_ but it doesn’t scare him. He’s hard in his pants too.

_„Gon_ we shouldn’t, we mustn’t,“ Kite tries to keep his head calm and focused.

All or his resolve crumbles to dust when Gon’s tiny hand palms his clothed erection.

„ _Fuck, Gon_ ,“ he almost screams, praying that the other boy ran far away from them.

_„Kite,“_ Gon says so gently and innocently.

„I- Gon, I won’t be able to hold back if you do this,“ Kite warns him.

„ _Then don’t hold back_ ,“ Gon tells him and it’s enough to make him fall to pieces.

„I’ll make it good for you, I’ll make you feel really good,“ Kite promises and flips them over, caging Gon’s tiny body under his own.

Gon loves the feeling.

Kite proceeds to kiss and lick Gon’s neck because although it’s been _years_ since he touched anyone, he still remembers how to make someone feel good.

He will pick him apart and make him unable to _think_ about or _feel_ anything else than Kite.

His mouth trails lower, removing Gon’s t-shirt in the process, and kissing his chest, giving a few licks to those adorable little nipples.

Gon’s a lovely sight, blushing, panting, losing his mind from so little.

Kite moves to unbutton Gon’s shorts.

Gon looks a bit scared, but it’s just the inexperience, it’s not like he wouldn’t want it.

„Scared?“ asks Kite.

„Yes,“ admits Gon bashfully.

„Changed your mind then?“ asks Kite, his hands pausing.

„I... _I want it_ ,“ says Gon, as determined as before.

Kite slides down Gon’s boxers along with his underwear, revealing a leaking hard-on.

He immediately goes down to take it into his mouth. The size isn’t too impressive, so he fits it whole inside his mouth.

Gon moans and bucks his hips up to bury himself deeper into the eager mouth.

„Oh Kite,“ he keeps repeating.

He doesn’t last more than a minute. Soon, he’s shaking and coming inside Kite’s mouth, who eagerly swallows every drop.

Gon’s eyes are hazy and teary, but he looks happy and satisfied.

Kite feels happy too, giving pleasure is enough for him, he doesn’t need to receive it.

„Oh Kite, I had no idea how amazing this can feel,“ Gon admits.

„I’m glad. I want to make you feel good every time you will want me to,“ says Kite.

„I never want to leave you,“ admits Gon.

„Me too. So let’s stay together,“ says Kite and he feels warm and happy.


	2. Chapter 2

They were terrified of being caught, but Killua returned a few hours later, so he didn’t discover what they did.

It was a relief for both of them because neither of them knew how they would explain what happened.

It was undoubtedly _wrong_ in the eyes of anyone who would discover it.

They both struggled to accept it in their own way.

Gon wasn’t really concerned by it, the only thing that bothered him was that Kite could be in trouble because of him, if anyone found out about them.

So he was acting as normally as he could, being all playful and funny with Killua.

Killua did seem to notice that something was going on, but he couldn’t quite name it. So he continued to observe them without saying anything.

Kite seemed very troubled, although he tried to hide it. It was obvious to Gon that he was plagued by guilt, and that made him determined to talk to him later and explain that he didn’t do anything wrong.

 _Wrong_ was a bad way to describe something that both of them enjoyed so much.

They traveled further, and their surroundings seemed the same. It didn’t seem to Gon that they were getting any closer to their destination, but Kite must know the way, so the boys followed without asking childish questions like _How far is it?_ or _Are we getting close yet?_

It didn’t matter to Gon that they seemed to be lost in the wilds in the middle of nowhere. He was happy to be spending time with Kite. And Killua was happy to be spending time with Gon.

Kite seemed to be a bit on edge, but it was hard to tell what was causing it. What they did, or the danger that awaited at the end of their journey?

Gon was determined to find out, but for that, he needed to think of a way to spend some time alone with Kite.

They set camp again after the day of traveling, all of them exhausted.

„Hey Killua, how about you go find some food while I gather firewood?“ offered Gon.

It was an odd request. Although Killua was more than capable of hunting alone, they always went together.

But he didn’t question it, assuming Gon needed to talk to Kite alone for some reason. He knew better than to pry into other people’s business, so he nodded and left without a word.

„Kite, what’s wrong?“ asked Gon. He was standing too close to Kite, invading his personal space, his tiny hands on his chest, staring into his eyes.

Kite looked away, unable to bear looking into those huge, innocent-looking eyes.

„I’m sorry Gon, I shouldn’t have done _that_ to you,“ he started, unable to say aloud what _exactly_ he did.

„What are you apologizing for?“ asked Gon with genuine surprise in his voice. „I liked it, and I want more,“ he added, voice turning husky with desire.

„I-…“ Kite started, his voice cracking, unable to think clearly with Gon so close.

Shame made him blush, and he looked totally adorable.

Gon smiled and hugged him, and the innocence of the gesture made Kite even more conflicted.

It was so difficult to imagine how could such a young boy want to do such _adult_ things.

„Don’t fight it Kite,“ Gon said playfully as if it wasn’t something serious, as if Kite could just forget the long years that separate them. Their closeness was forbidden and he knew it very well.

„You don’t know what you are asking for, we can’t do anything _more_ Gon, it’s _wrong,“_ he said while already feeling his control slipping away.

Gon let go of him, and for a few heartbeats, Kite thought it was over, and expected Gon to leave. He didn’t want to admit how sad and heartbroken would that make him feel.

But Gon wasn’t someone who gives up easily.

He felt so small next to Kite, so he reached up to grab a fistful of his long hair and pulled down gently, attempting to make Kite kneel to be at his level.

Kite didn’t resist and knelt down. Gon could finally touch his face. He cupped his cheeks, still blushing red, with his tiny hands. Kite couldn’t help smiling happily at the cute gesture, closing his eyes.

It made him lower his guard, and before he could stop it, Gon was kissing him.

It was innocent at first, just a soft press of lips against lips, so restrained, yet it ignited a fire inside Kite, a desire so consuming that it made him lose all of his self-restraint and kiss Gon passionately.

Kite’s long arms wrapped around Gon as he pulled him closer and forced his tongue into his mouth. It earned a soft moan from Gon.

When they separated, Gon’s eyes were hazy with lust, and they were both panting, unable to catch a breath.

„ _I want you, Kite,_ “ Gon said with such a seductive voice that it made Kite wonder if he really is as innocent as he looks like.

„Gon, don’t do this to me, I think I really won’t be able to hold back,“ groaned Kite.

Gon pushed lightly against his chest, and the small strength was enough to make Kite lay back. Gon climbed on top of him and positioned himself right above Kite’s hardness. Gon could feel it under him, despite both of them being still fully clothed.

„That’s enough, we should stop now,“ said Kite but it was obvious that he didn’t really mean his words. His hands were already prying their way under Gon’s tank top.

The sight of Gon‘s bare chest silenced all of his protests. The boy was so beautiful that it left Kite stunned.

Gon reached down to undo Kite’s pants. He was inexperienced, his fingers trembling, but he was excited and loved every small sound of pleasure that escaped Kite’s lips. One of his hands worked at undoing the pants, the other hand was tracing over Kite’s erection.

Kite shivered when his sensitive length was exposed to the cold air, and he froze when Gon moved between his legs and opened his mouth.

„You don’t have to-…“ he tried to protest, but the lustful look in Gon’s eyes silenced him. It was obvious that Gon wanted it as much as him.

A small tongue peeked out and gave his cock a few teasing licks. Kite didn’t mind the clumsiness and obvious inexperience. He would let Gon learn and go at his own pace, rather than telling him what to do.

Gon tried to take him into his mouth, but it was obvious that something so huge would not fit in. The most he managed was sucking at the tip.

It still made Kite roll his eyes back and see stars. He was so sensitive.

He had to stop Gon after a few minutes, lifting his head up gently, because he was already close to coming and he wanted more than just a blowjob.

Gon looked sad for a moment. „Did I do something wrong? Do you not like it? I know I’m not good but-…“

Kite interrupted him. „You are amazing, it feels so good Gon, I stopped you because I want _more.“_

 _More._ Gon’s eyes widened at the realization.

„Do you want it too? Do you want me inside you?“ Kite asked. „I would never do anything you wouldn’t want,“ he added.

„ _Yes, I want it,“_ moaned Gon.

„I’ll make it good for you, don’t worry,“ Kite assured him.

He pulled down Gon’s pants along with his underwear and pushed him down to lay on his back. Gently opening his thighs, he moved between his legs.

Gon was already hard and leaking, and Kite gave him a few licks before moving further down. The boy froze, nervous, unsure what to expect.

Kite licked at his hole, determined to prepare him thoroughly. He would never be careless and take Gon without proper preparation.

„Relax,“ he said and pushed his tongue inside. He felt Gon tense around him, unused to such a foreign sensation.

After a few minutes, Gon was a moaning mess, loose enough around Kite’s tongue for him to slip a finger inside.

„How does it feel? Do you want more?“ Kite asked.

„It’s strange, but it doesn’t feel bad,“ Gon admitted, blushing.

Kite continued, slipping his tongue along with his finger into Gon’s tight ass.

Soon, there was enough room for two fingers. Kite licked them first, to make them slippery and wet, and pushed them inside Gon. The long fingers curled and searched for Gon’s spot of pleasure. When they brushed against it, Gon’s back arched, and he cried out.

He had no idea that there was a place inside him that would make him feel so indescribably good when it was touched.

Kite scissored his fingers to stretch him further, slipping a third finger inside soon, which made Gon roll his eyes back. The fingers assaulting his prostate were too much for the boy, and he came without a warning, his dick untouched, white pleasure staining his chest.

Kite scooped up the come with his fingers and coated his cock with it. In the forest they had nothing else to use as a lubricant, so he had to improvise.

He couldn’t wait any longer, the sight of Gon lying back, legs spread, eyes half-closed, was driving him crazy.

Slowly withdrawing his fingers elicited a small sound of protest from Gon.

He quickly replaced them with his hard cock, pressing gently against Gon‘s opening.

But he didn’t press inside, keeping in mind that he might be too big for Gon.

He decided to rather lay on his back and let Gon be on top of him. It would be better for the boy to slowly sink onto his length at his own pace. He was afraid that he would hurt him if he just pressed inside like he wanted to.

Gon’s body looked so tiny on top of him. The boy was shaking a bit, almost looking like he changed his mind. Eyes closed, breaths ragged, clenching around the tip of Kite’s dick that he managed to force inside his tight ass.

He was sure that he absolutely can’t take any more inside him. It felt like he was being split apart.

But still, it was _Kite,_ and the thought filled Gon’s mind and made him endure the pain of the stretch. _It’s Kite, Kite is inside me,_ he thought and managed to sink a bit lower, letting another inch slide inside him.

Kite under him was such a sight. Hair splayed around his head and tangled. Eyes rolling back, face contorted in pleasure.

He lost his patience and grabbed Gon’s hips, his grip iron, pushing Gon down to take his whole cock inside him.

Gon couldn’t help crying out in pain, and tears streamed down his cheeks. He covered his mouth to silence himself.

„Sorry, was that too fast?“ Kite managed to ask through the haze of pleasure that clouded his mind.

Gon was shaking, clenching around his cock, but the pain was slowly receding, and he was slowly loosening.

„I’m fine,“ he managed to say, although there was a hint of pain in his voice.

Kite flipped them over, still buried deep inside Gon. Both of his hands rested at the boy’s thighs. He moved a bit inside Gon, and the sensation made the boy shake and bite his own hand to silence another pained sound.

„Relax and it will feel amazing,“ Kite explained. He leaned down to kiss the boy. He kissed him deeply and lustfully, and finally, the boy seemed to calm down and relax a bit.

When Kite began to move and fuck him, Gon’s tight hole was loosened enough for him to enjoy it. The sounds escaping his lips were of pleasure, not pain. Kite drank those sounds, kissed them away from Gon’s lips.

„You feel so _good,_ you’re so _tight,“_ Kite moaned.

Gon was incoherent, unable to say any word except Kite’s name, which he moaned over and over.

It was beautiful. Kite felt connected to Gon, it was beyond just physical. He felt it in his heart, a love so twisted and wrong that he shouldn’t acknowledge it, but it was there, setting his chest on fire. He loved him so much it hurt, so much it was tearing his soul apart.

„I love you Gon,“ Kite said with a strangled voice. Gon’s expression was so fucked-out that Kite didn’t expect a reply. He could see it in Gon‘s eyes that he loved him too.

There were tears in Kite’s eyes because it all felt too intense.

Gon’s tiny body, clenching around the hard cock pounding inside him. Ragged breaths, moans barely muffled by his hand covering his mouth.

Kite could tell he was hitting the right spot inside Gon, because soon, the boy tensed, arched his back, and came again, dick still untouched, ass clenching around Kite’s cock.

It was enough to bring Kite over the edge too. It felt too good, and he couldn’t make himself pull out, so he finished inside Gon and collapsed on top of him.

The intensity of his orgasm completely blinded him, and when he began to recover, he realized that it was probably his most intense orgasm so far.

He pulled out and begun to dress. Although he wanted nothing more than to lay next to Gon and hold him close, cuddle and comfort him, the fear of being caught was stronger.

„Are you okay?“ he asked Gon. The boy’s eyes were still hazy, but he looked blissful, not hurt.

„I love you Kite,“ said Gon and it made Kite happy and sad at the same time.

He should have not allowed it to happen, he should know how to control himself at his age.

Now he went too far and made Gon even more attached to him when he became the first one to claim his body.

It felt amazing, but he couldn’t shake a feeling that _it should not have been him._

He should have known better, but he couldn’t stop himself from kissing Gon once more.

 _It was a mistake,_ he should have said, should have thought. _It will never happen again,_ he should be saying.

„I will never leave you,“ he said instead, while wondering what is wrong with both of them to want something like this.

He helped Gon get dressed again, and they waited for the other boy to come back.

Killua didn’t return for another half an hour, which was comforting, because it meant that he probably went too far to be able to hear anything.

It also gave them time to prepare the fire.

When he returned with some rabbits to cook for dinner, and saw Kite’s guilty expression, he knew something happened.

It didn’t even cross his mind that Kite could have done something indecent to Gon.

He assumed them to have been discussing plans, Kite probably wanting to send them back to the city because as they neared their destination, a dark, frightening aura could be sensed.

He was angry, feeling left out, but decided against asking questions.

Putting rabbits on the fire to cook them, he glanced at Kite and Gon, wondering why they are so quiet.

Gon noticed the stare and forced himself to act as usual, cheerful and talkative, no matter how forced it seemed.

They ate and went to sleep, avoiding a serious discussion.

Kite was lost in thoughts the next day, looking into the distance. Hating himself for his weakness, for not being able to resist Gon’s temptation.

Considering sending the boys back to the town, to protect them not only from the danger of Chimera Ants but also from himself.

In the end, he couldn’t send them away no matter what. He felt like he would die without Gon at his side, bleed out from his shattered heart.

„Kite, Kite!“ Gon was talking to him, probably for some time now, but he couldn’t focus on the words.

Suddenly he was aware of an ominous aura getting close. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that he didn’t notice that they are being ambushed.

He conjured his Crazy Slots, getting a random weapon into his hands.

A figure approached them, slim and cat-like, a deadly predator.

Kite’s eyes widened when he felt how powerful this being’s aura was.

Gon was getting ready to fight. His precious, beautiful Gon, willing to risk his life for him.

„Take Gon and run!“ Kite screamed at Killua and attacked the creature.

He knew that Gon would never listen to him, but Killua was responsible, his mind not clouded by emotions. Calm and collected because of his assassin training, he complied, picking Gon up and running away.

„No, let me go!“ Gon screamed. „Kite! Kite! I won’t leave you there to die!“ Gon was shouting, trying to get free, but Killua was holding him tight, taking him to safety.

Killua would never understand what was between them, the fragile connection that might snap and break if they got separated.

„I love you Kite!“ Gon screamed, hoping Kite could still hear it. They were so far that Kite was almost out of his sight.

_I don’t mind dying,_ thought Kite.

_I tainted an innocent boy with my twisted love. The least I can do now is to die protecting him._

_I won’t mind dying if it’s for Gon._

Killua never said anything, but he understood what Gon was feeling. He put together Kite’s ashamed expression, and Gon’s words when they were running away, and suddenly it was obvious to him what must have happened between them.

He saw the love in Gon’s eyes, the desperation when trying to find a way to save Kite, and he couldn’t find it in him to tell Gon that Kite is probably already dead.

It hurt him, seeing Gon so desperate and lost. And it hurt even more because he was in love with Gon. He was going to confess to him before they met Kite. But there was no point in that now. He had no idea how to talk about his feelings anyway. And even if he did, it would only make Gon feel even worse.

So he suffered in silence and did nothing to stop the pain eating through his heart. Many thoughts were appearing in his mind, thoughts about how he can have Gon all for himself if Kite is dead. He hated himself for thinking that way. And he realized that neither he nor Kite is good enough for Gon.

Later, when they found what was left of Kite, Gon shattered.

Killua knew at that moment that it would leave scars on Gon’s heart for the rest of his life.

He wished he could do something, _anything,_ to help Gon, to save him.

But seeing the corpse or his loved one, broken and empty, soulless, but moving – it was too much for Gon. And nobody could stop him from breaking.

The world seemed to have changed for Gon, bright colors going pale and lifeless. The time seemed to stop except for Gon’s heart, which was dying in his chest. He hoped it would stop beating, he didn’t want to be alive.

He left Kite there, all alone, to die. It was stuck in his head, replaying on a loop like a broken record. _He loved me and I left him there to die._

Too absorbed in his sorrow, he closed his eyes, hiding from the world.

All Killua could do was pick up the broken pieces, and try to put Gon back together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I wish Kite and Gon could have a happy ending, but it seems like it's not meant for them.


End file.
